Sunday, January 27, 2013

The Couple That Prays Together...

My hubby may strangle me for sharing this post, but I know that I cannot be alone in this topic so I am taking my chances.  Besides, I can take him, or at least find a way to get myself out of the situation!

I am not often a worrier.  It drives my mother in law and husband crazy.  I swear the most common response I have to my hubby’s many worries is “I don’t know, I haven’t really thought about it.”  He responds with “well do you want to?”  “Uh, nope.”

I know when I was young I was the melodramatic, hormonal “crazy” girl that my daughter is now.  I don’t know how my parents or sister got through my adolescence.  As I have gotten older, I keep hearing my Dad preaching at me “don’t sweat the small stuff” and truth be told, I just don’t.  BUT, lately, I have become a wonderer and it is keeping me awake at night.  Please note that in my mind, wondering is far less stressful than worryingJI wonder if my studio will ever be organized, I wonder if our daughter will ever be less of a stress case, I wonder if our son will ever want to read a book for fun, I wonder if both of them will ever find an activity that they are truly passionate about.  I wonder if our twins are getting enough to eat, if they feel safe, if they know in their hearts that we are coming for them and if they know the Lord, I wonder where the money to get them home is going to come from.  My biggest one though is I wonder if my hubby prays for all the things that I wonder about.  I am embarrassed to say that I have never asked him.  Why is this?  I have wanted to ask him forever if we could pray together and was…scared maybe?  I am not really sure.  We are talking about my best friend here right?  I mean this man has seen my cry my eyes as puffy as golf balls, he has watched me give birth to two children and I am scared to ask him to pray with me?  What is that all about and am I alone in this fear?

So, as I usually do when I don’t want to talk about it, I pray about it.  Then, as God has it, the sermon at church this weekend was about talking to others about their faith.  We were reminded that genuine love and compassion are true motivators for discussing your faith with others.  I sat there thinking “isn’t that what we have as a couple?”  My incredible husband led me into my walk with God.  When we met, I was soooo far from the Lord.  He was willing to look past my outer issues and my past and introduce me to a life that is saved, a life walking with Jesus Christ.  What do I have to be scared of?

I came home last night and through the fear and insecurity aside and asked my husband to pray with me.  I asked if we could start praying together regularly.  I want to be reassured that we are on the same page in this crazy life and a night out to dinner and a movie is not going to get that done.  There is no conversation that we can have that will give us the sense of security and trust that praying together can.  I feel asleep at peace, with no sense of wonder and slept the best I have in a long time. 

Why had it taken 12 years for that to happen? I tell you what; I will not spend one more day going to sleep wondering.  Life is too short and I cannot wait to see how God works in our life because of this change.  

Monday, January 21, 2013

Lessons learned over the weekend

We spent the weekend in Phoenix and capped it off with me running the Rock n Roll marathon.  It was meant to be a "practice" race for Boston.  Practice means you learn something and hopefully get better right?  Learn something I did.  I felt like I was learning something every day and each mile...

...the $2,000,000 automobile we watched be auctioned at the Barrett Jackson auction could have fed 1.2 million orphaned children for a WEEK! The $4,200,000 Batmobile is a whole other conversation.

...extended time with your spouse and without kids is a MUST in any relationship.

...someone who smiles at you and knows your name can make you smile back no matter what. Brittany Gable, thank you for being an out of nowhere cheering squad for me!

...when I thought I was hurting, I thought of the 5 million orphans whom I was positive had felt hurt much worse than what I was feeling.

...I wanted to drop out at mile 19 and my mom wouldn't let me, now that is a phenomenal woman. Mommas always know best.

...I will never give up doing whatever I can to give ours kiddos a loving and healthy home, why would I give up in a silly race? Dad ran his 92nd marathon (with little training) this weekend because his "bucket list" has 100 on it.  Now that is serious goal setting and faith.  I pray I can stick to my goals that way.  He is an inspiration to me every day. matter how hard you train, 26.2 miles is a long way and it hurts!

...the sight of your kids, waiting for you at the airport, even though you have only been gone 3 days is AWESOME!

Thursday, January 17, 2013

God Stories

A couple months back, I was talking with my girlfriends, Danna and Tara, about their adoptions.  The questions always seem to come up of how you cope emotionally and financially when talking with other adoptive moms.  They both told me that I would never believe the ways that God will work in our lives in the journey.  I did not quite understand this until a few days ago.

My best friend, Holly, and I always love to share what we term as "God stories."  So I thought I would share my latest with you!

I have been purging the house of all things that aren't needed, used or wanted.  Craigslist and eBay have become my most used apps on my phone.  I was selling a couple books and came across a lady on FB who was looking for said books.  I had never met her but we struck up a conversation on FB Messenger and ended up talking for quite some time about God, family and our adoption.  The books were being sold for $100 and while I was chatting with her, my paypal account notice came across the screen of my phone saying that she had sent me $200.  I immediately told her that it was only supposed to be $100 for both not for each and that she had overpaid me.  She said "No I didn't, I know it isn't much but I hope it helps.  I know it will be the first of much."  I was sitting in an oversized chair in our sitting room crying.  All those conversations I had with the ladies about God working in crazy ways flooded my thoughts!  Remembering that I had no idea where in the world she lived, I asked her where I should send the books.  Turns out, she lives in Helena.  That is a 1 1/2 hour drive from us.

Whoa, so this is what my girlfriends meant?!?  I think I will be continuing to praise God  for my overflowing heart every second that I can.

Tuesday, January 15, 2013

First Things First

This is my first blog entry here and I find myself lost for words.  That NEVER happens to me, just ask my husband.  I can talk your ear off!   That probably explains why I have never quite heard God like I did this past year.  I am quite certain that I was doing all the talking and not enough listening.

Here is how this story begins...

...Last fall, on a typical dark, early morning training run, I was deep in prayer and knew that God was telling me that 2013 would be the time for me to "retire" from run racing.  This was to be the end (or pause) of one chapter of my life and the beginning of another, I just wasn't sure what other meant. You see, I have been a competitive runner since I was little. I was a high school state champ in Alaska, went to college in Montana on a scholarship and never stopped trying to beat people on foot. I do not think of myself as a distance runner but a self-challenge arose in 2011 and I ran the Honolulu Marathon qualifying first round for the Boston Marathon 2013.  It was my original goal, after all, but now I wasn't so sure that I wanted to be a "marathoner"  So, I continued to train for whatever came up.  For the first time in my so-called running career I suddenly felt at peace with what He was telling me and said, "ok God, if that is your plan then so be it."  I came home and told Josh my thoughts and his response was "um, lets revisit that idea in a few months and see if you still feel that way."

Another dark, early morning training session happened and I came home with the feeling that we were called to adopt.  This time, I didn't share the thought.  I have been dead set on two kids since we had our daughter in 2003.  Two, that is it.  We even made it permanent.  My husband was going to freak!

I continued to listen and both feelings never faded.  Boston it was and we were called to adopt.

I told Josh at the end of September.  I also told him that I thought God had twins, around our sons age,  for us.  For a long time I think he was hoping it was an idea that I would eventually forget about.

I didn't.

We did our home study in October and I swear that Josh only agreed to it to make me happy.
We decided that if we were going to do this, we would choose between Ethiopia and Moldova.  A new friend encouraged me to look at the Congo, but it all seemed a little scary so we decided on Ethiopia.
We chose an agency, did all the paperwork, compiled a dossier but Josh never felt like it was right.  Luckily for us, I chose to be a Godly wife and just be patient with his decision.  After all, God knew what our timing was suppose to be and I was trying really hard to not be as damn pushy as I tend to be.
Then, per our parents request, we decided to sit on the idea for a couple months (they asked for 6-12, we gave them 3) and see what brewed.  After all, we have always said we only wanted two.

After a Christmas, the calling was still deep in me.  A girlfriend of mine, texted me to ask if I would pray for her family's decision to adopt 4 sisters from DRC.  Whoa, 4!  Did I mention they already have 4 bio kids and 4 from Ethiopia?  My busy life with two kids was sounding pretty weak right about then.  I told her that, of course, I would pray and could I see a picture?  She let me log on, under her name, to the website where their girls were pictured.  The first page of kids pops up and I gasp.  There in front of me are our 6 year old twins.  I called Josh at work, some switch in his heart flipped and we immediately started pursuing the adoption of our kiddos from a country we weren't considering and never planned to visit.

The rest is history, or I guess future :)  Whatever you call it, we are totally in love, way excited and thrilled that you will be on this journey with us.