Friday, June 21, 2013

Drum Roll Please

Drum roll please....just in case you are not one of my Facebook peeps, the news is out.  We have officially accepted a new referral. We did it awhile ago but wanted to make sure everything was a "go" before we started getting all public!

We are currently awaiting court approval (like, in the next week) for two new Fry's.  We are adopting another sibling set!  Abigael is 7 and Emmanuel is 5. Yes, her name is spelled with an "e" I already spelled it wrong on a package I sent her so, I need to start practicing.  My iphone has yet to figure out how not to auto correct it.   They are the most beautiful kids you have ever seen.  What mom doesn't say that though right?

We are in a tricky spot with the DRC system and our agency is working incredibly hard to get our case going quick so that we will be in the group that is receiving their investigative interviews in August.  If that does not happen our kiddos will potentially be "stuck" in the DRC for another six months until the next set of interviews take place.  Please be praying that all hands that are working on some sort of anything that has to do with whatever needs to be done for that to happen, are diligent, thorough and speedy. People, lets all be working on "Heidi time" here for goodness sake.

Em and Wyatt out on the paddle board

green onions and lettuce in abundance, corn and carrots, not so much yet :)

In the meantime, we are loving life at the lake and preparing to be a family of six.  Whoa, six, deep breaths.  Emma and Corbin are going to camp with Fry cousins, the garden is finally growing and I am hosting Noonday shows, helping families fundraise for their adoptions.  I have even started cycle racing a little and spending some time with my girlfriends.  There is potential that I may not lose my mind after all.  The jury is still out on that one, if you ask some not-to-be-named members of my fam, but all in all life is good.  Thanks for all your prayers!

OH, and Monday is a BIG day for us.  Big, I mean huge, the countdown has begun and you should be begging me for the news.  There will be pictures of Emmanuel and Abigael involved.  Stop right there and put down the phone if you know my number cause I am not going to tell you!  Na na na na na na!  Can you wait that long?    I hope so, it will be worth it!

Tuesday, June 11, 2013

Creating And Filling The Shoes Of A Man, Father and Husband.

Many have asked me what my husband thinks about our adoption. Sometimes, I feel like I am looking back at them with a glazed over stare, feeling somewhat offended and thinking "What do you mean?  He is totally on board!"  I mean, really, why wouldn't he be?  After all, I told him that I felt this was God's calling for us.  I sat, talked at with him and researched with him for hours on end about all the wrong in the world and why what we were thinking about was right both morally and scripturally.  We have done hours upon hours of education, reading and researching about everything that could possibly happen, go wrong or that our children may have or suffer from.  Well, I did that and then shared a majority of the information with him.  Now that I think about it, there may have been a time or two (or a hundred) in which he gave me that same blank, glazed over stare that I was giving those who were questioning me.

Hmmm, I am a pretty determined little lady. Ok, enough with the under-your-breath scoffing.  I hear you...fine, I am very strong is my makes life interesting!  If I believe in something, Josh usually gives in uh...supports me in the journey we take together.  Don't get me wrong, he is on board with our adoption but is he totally freaked out and scared?  Yes, so am I.  I would be worried if we weren't.  It is called being a parent.  Boy am I glad I am not in his position.

Life can be a scary journey.  Throw an adoption in there and you make it even more exciting.  Some days, parenting decisions makes me want to be on a cocktail of anti-nausea, anti-depression, anti-anxiety meds to mix in with my anti-ADD and I could be ready to start the day!!!  Thank GOD for Josh and his responsibility of keeping me grounded and helping me raise these amazing kiddos! I swear I still have days where I look at my kids and think,

"Aren't we too young to have kids?  Seriously, these are ours?  What if we screw them up?"

In ode to Fathers Day and the incredible men I have learned from,  I did some studying and came across these verses that I wanted to share about what is amazing about men, fathers and husbands.

Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be men of courage; be strong.
                                                1 Corinthians 16:13 

In my mind, that is a man, right there.  Sometimes, as strong women, we need a man to stand up to us, help our hearts and minds be on the same page and be the ones with questions about our decisions.  Josh is the one that thinks of the questions, I am the one that finds the answers, together, we make a decision.  Hey, we may not always get along or be that nice to each other, but we are always working together and that is the right direction to be going, if you ask us.

Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.
                                    Proverbs 22:6

As a parent, are you teaching your little men the way of our Lord? I always think that teaching boys to grow up to be men, who respect themselves, women and the Lord could quite possibly be one of the hardest things in parenting.  Maybe thats because I had a sister, but my husband and the men around us are incredible at this.  Are you surrounding your sons with role models like these? My parents in-law did a superb job of this and it is obvious if you have ever met my father in-law or his boys.  Or really, just look at me and my sis, we aren't boys, but we are pretty stinkin awesome and we can thank our Daddy for at least part of our awesomeness!

He who fears the LORD has a secure fortress, and for his children it will be a refuge.
                                 Proverbs 14:26

My great friend Tara writes an amazing blog and today, her husband was a guest writer. You can find them on S'more Stories.  Ty wrote about how he feels like the wrapper that keeps his family package together and safe. What an amazing and scary feeling, as a man, to know that is your job.  

**I am confidant that is why most men are so nervous about the adoption process, or any big decision for that matter.  I know because I asked and Josh told me.  Funny how if you just take a deep breath and ask "why" they will tell you!  It isn't that they do not want to add one or even 12 children to their family, it is the worry of how he will provide for, love and keep all these children safe and secure in themselves and in life.  As women and wives, we need to be sure that we are honoring those God given concerns he has and not second guessing them.  After all, our husbands are the head of our household and as much as we want to fight it sometimes, their opinions and worries really do have relevance to your family and marriage.

Have I not commanded you?  Be strong and courageous.  Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go."
                                 Joshua 1:9

Um, ladies, it is no big revelation that we grasp this notion at the pace of the hare.  It has taken me 12 years to figure out that, as frustrating as it is, our husbands will too....eventually...just give them time.  Sometimes, their walk with the Lord is at the tortoise pace and you know how that story ends.

That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and the become one flesh.
                                    Genesis 2:24

When Josh chose me as his partner, he jumped into big shoes that my father had created as my mentor and support system.  The same goes for me to him. Josh and I have supported each other through a lot of goals and adventures that most would consider out of the question.  Through it all, we have been confidant that the Lord will provide us with what we need spiritually, emotionally and financially.  We have travelled together all over the country racing, me on a bicycle or running, him on a drag bike.  He has been my rock when I was training 3-5 hours a day, sometimes at the crack of dawn on 5 hours of sleep, sometimes in a snow blizzard.  He has talked me through 3 hour long runs on a treadmill or rides on my rollers. He has always encouraged me to follow my dreams.  When he wants to follow his, there is never a part of me that feels bitterness for staying back with the kids for a week while he goes heli-skiing, drag racing or water skiing with the boys.  We have a partnership of unreal support and I feel so blessed with that. 

So, to all the fathers out there who are and are yet to be, Happy Fathers Day.  I hope that you will raise your little men and women to be capable of "filling the shoes" when they find their God chosen spouse.  I hope they are big shoes, that were full of love, and will continue to be.     XOXO, Heids

Saturday, June 8, 2013

Mother-Daughter weekend

Last year, about November, it dawned on me that our daughter was going to be 10 on her next birthday.  10...that is double digits, that is going to college in 8 more years, that is past the point of little kid-hood, that is almost babysitter age, that makes me want to cry.  Ok, I mean I have fully finished and up to date scrapbooks of her since she was born.  Wait, no I don't, I think I fell off that wagon when she was 5.  I should really get back on that one.  She is our first born and our little girl and she was turning 10.  So, I did what is appropriate in our family for the double digit birthday, I thought of something big.

Emma is a guitar strumming, Taylor Swift loving fool.  As members of the Taylor Swift VIP fan club (its ok if you are envious, I can send you link for becoming a member as well) we received notice of a pre-sale for her concert in Salt Lake City and I jumped on it!  What could be more fun than taking my daughter to her first concert???  So, with the help of my Dad, I secured tickets to a concert that sold out, completely, in the pre-sale, in five minutes!

Then, I had to keep it a secret for 5 months.  THE AGONY AND TORTURE!!!!!

Her March birthday rolled around and she went bananas with the news. Saweeeeeet.  We were officially the coolest parents in the world.  Oh, but then she had to wait 2 1/2 more months until the actual concert day.

Fast forward to last weekend and here is where the fun part starts.  With all the adoption drama and school just finishing, a mother daughter weekend was much needed.  Two days before we left, her VIP package arrived in the mail complete with a blanket, tote bag, guitar picks, iphone case (uhhh NO, she does not have a phone), bracelets and a program to take with us.  Now, it was just me and Em, on a plane (courtesy of Grandma and Grandpa), staying in a hotel, and seeing Taylor Swift.  Let the adolescent screaming begin!

Emma, Felicity and I on the plane to SLC

After a mad rush of the mall (it was like running after a wandering toddler) because "MOM, I have to find a red dress" we came up with a cutie red poncho style shirt to wear over her white dress.  Oh my, I was exhausted all ready.  Good thing Corbin and Daddy weren't with us, they would be toast!  We put our feet up for approximately 12 minutes before she looked at my outfit and told me I wasn't red enough.  Uh, I totally had my Sseko sandals on with a red rose atop my red painted toes AND a red bracelet on!  Back to Nordstrom we went to look for red which is NOT the "in" color right now.  5 minutes and $68 later, I was styled by my 10 year old daughter to an acceptable state.  All the while I was reminiscing my brand new red tank I had hanging in my closet and kicking myself for not being the cool mom who packed that sort of thing.  Duh Mom, it is the RED tour!!!

Yep, were were there at ten to 7 since the concert starts at 7 and that is when Taylor will come on right?  Um, no...I have been to enough concerts to know this, but was not willing to break that spirit.  Two hours and 2 opening acts later, Emma was near comatose and a friend showed up with this 8x10 from the meet-n-greet she went to.  Thank you Heather for boosting her sprits back up! 

While we waited, I wondered if I was one of the oldest women in the arena at 34.  There is something about 10,000+ screaming college and adolescent age girls that took me back to my youth and the first concerts I attended.  Mind you, my first concert was John Denver, but my Dad did took me and I can still rock out  "country road, take me home" to you.  After that, I headed down the Violent Femmes, They Might Be Giants concert path so, Taylor Swift is a breath of fresh air for me when it comes to someone my kid is looking up to!  

Emma, if you want to write and play songs about mean girls and lame boyfriends, then I say rock on sista.

Finally, out she came!!!  What a blast.  Emma had a fantastic time singing along on the way home she told me all about why Taylor had written those songs and what she was feeling when she did.  I could probably be Taylor Swifts mother now too.  I mean, I really and truly know her thanks to Emma's Taylor Swift encyclopedia brain :)  

What I do know for sure is that girl never once came out with skin showing, her boobs about to fall out or skirts so short you could catch a glimpse of her business.  Never once did she grind down with one of her dancers or give my daughter the idea that being a girl known for her sexiness is cool.  Right on, we will take it!

Em didn't even make it under the covers when we returned and she stayed that way until well into mid morning when I finally had her get up so we could go see the tabernacle choir.  
It was very cool, but she made it through 4 rehearsal songs and she was done.  I wasn't arguing.  

We hit the museum because Em loves museums and I was there to do whatever she wanted to do.  Luckily for me, she filled in the blanks for me of the who and why that I had about Christ and his life. Thank you classical christian school for allowing my little bible scholar to learn as she pleases. 

We left the 91 degree heat of SLC and took the 43 minute flight home to Bozeman.  When we got here, it was POURING down rain, my minivan battery was dead and I had left the windows cracked because there was a 0% chance of rain.  Awesome.  Emma informed me that her AG doll, Felicity, can NOT get wet!  Deep breath in, and out.  I found a nice security guard who got us running and we headed home.  We had started the summer off with a bang and nothing was going to dampen our spirits now!

Tuesday, June 4, 2013

Updates from Crazy Town

Wow, it feels good to be back at the keyboard.  To all of you who are friends, fans, family or just praying for us, thank you for your patience over the last few weeks.  I am not even going to pretend that it didn't totally suck.

I have been in what my girl Holly calls "emotional Botox".  In fact she says I have to have received at least 600 units of it.  I am so emotionally drained. My mind is what you would call a (clear throat here) HOT MESS!!  I have emotions, I swear.  I am just having a heck of a time showing them.  I mean seriously people, my brother in law ended up in the hospital on Sunday and all I could say to my sister was "want me to take the girls for you?"  I am the worst sister/friend EVER right now.  

Over these past few weeks, I took the advice of great friends and spent a week mourning over and talking about our loss.  However, I was always thinking of what we were going to do next. You see DRC is also a hot mess right now and in order for us to be bringing kiddos home in 2013 we needed to be paper complete and government approved by August and that is coming REALLY fast in the world of adoption.  SO, my thoughts and actions were something like this.  Am I proud of this?  No.  Was it all consuming?  Yes.  Here it goes...

*When will our next referral come?
*Will we be able to be ready by the August deadline?
*Is it ok if we have to wait another year?

                                              pray (believe it or not, I did do this)

*We are never going to adopt, how will I recover from this?
*Call Josh and tell him I boxed up the twins' room because "we are never going to get more kids!" (insert crying here)


*show Emma a photo of a sibling group of 4 and have her tell me she hopes God has called us to take all four...start crying
*consider taking a sibling group of 4 because I can't live with the idea of splitting them and there are twins in the group so that has to be a sign.
*hysterical bawling followed by multiple incomprehensible calls to my poor hubby.


*Immerse myself in work
*non-stop browsing of the waiting child list online
*realize the waiting child list online is not even close to up to date.


*quit going to my adoptive moms group because I know if I add to the conversation I will cry,
*realize my relationship with Josh is struggling because a new referral is the only thing on my mind and I haven't ridden my bike in over a week (maybe 2)


*call my Mommy and ask for her help before I lose my bloody mind!
*realize my totally awesome kids are out of school and my outlook on life is a cocktail combo of manic depression, ADD, bipolar disorder and mental self abuse with a side of "insane in the membrane"!


*Go on a much needed mother daughter weekend with Emma to see Taylor Swift in concert.  That post is coming as soon as I get pictures downloaded.  It was pretty stinkin' amazing.
*Buy and start reading the book Unglued by Lysa TerKeurst and start learning how to deal with my psycho mom/woman emotions.  Ladies, this book is brilliant. Men, great insight into our heads.


*Realize that I have an incredible group of friends, family and support that are sitting by watching, listening and holding me just waiting for this to pass.  You guys are incredible!
*Realize that I need to sit down and talk this out with my unbelievable husband and make a plan.  Folks, in case you haven't noticed, I work better with a plan of attack and a final outcome goal.  It is probably the athlete in me and Josh gets that...or at least pretends to and goes along with it. LOVE HIM

I came across a card in our daughters room and read it, don't pretend you don't read stuff in your kids' rooms, you know you do.  Luckily for my snooping eyes, this card was addressed to Emma and I, from a fabulous woman who bought necklaces from us.  She told us she would be praying this verse for us,

"Now to Him who is able to do far more adundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to Him be glory in the church forever and ever amen."
--Ephesians 3:20

I re-read it about 50 times and this verse is one that I will be submitting to memory. It has been on this card, on Emma's windowsill, for months.  Apparently I wasn't very observant.  She, on the other hand, is.   Just goes to show that lessons learned from your ten year old daughter are usually beautiful.  

God is in ultimate control here and has our path mapped out for us.  Duh.  There are no wrong answers to our little predicament we just want to be making the right choice.  Maybe there isn't one, but we need to remember that the right choice is ultimately following His teachings, being true to ourselves and loving less of ourselves and more of Him.  So after a sit down/talk it out with Josh and finally a good nights sleep, out for a run I go.  I will even shower today and play with the kiddos damn it!  It is all going to work out, that I am sure of it.

So, what's next you are wondering?  Well, we are pretty sure we have made a decision and it does include new members of the Fry Family.  Information is coming soon, I promise.  Until then, you will just have to be patient and wait.  If you need me to give you lessons on this topic I am completely available the wrong person to ask!!!  

Thanks for all your support.  We love and appreciate you!!